With the new year approaching I'm getting that feeling again in the pit of my stomach. The one I've enjoyed ignoring for a couple of months. The one that tells me more appointments and even procedures for t are coming so soon. Don't get me wrong, I'm so very thankful that our issues this year with him have been so minor compared to what we expected, but it still doesn't make it easier. I guess I'm nervous that in the midst of going to appointments to take care of what we know, more will be discovered. Those first few months of seemingly not going a week without some other major thing coming to the surface is still a little too fresh in my mind. Just when I thought things were ok, something else came up. Will this next year be as simple as having a few procedures/surgeries and then life will be "normal" for a few years? Part of me is afraid to hope. Even though God continually reminds me of all He did this year and that each thing that came up was an opportunity for Him to show His power. I know everything will be fine, but I'm so afraid that everything won't be fine, ya know? I love my t so much and I'm so thankful for the way God made him, but honestly it is still a struggle to see how babies younger than him are so much more advanced. It's not bad, just different. I don't mind caring for him at all, he really is a very easy, happy kiddo, but I just worry about him when he realizes those differences, or his friends do. I know, TOTALLY borrowing trouble from tomorrow and God will give us the grace when that time comes. But these are things that go through my mind and sometimes it's good to get it out.
So as this new year arrives I'll work on trusting the Lord in the midst of the apprehension and looking for the ways He'll show His power and love through each day. And while I'm at it, I want to thank each and everyone who may see this for praying for t and for us. There is no doubt in my mind that God has blessed us so greatly because of such loving, dedicated prayer warriors. Thanks for fighting (praying) for and with us! God has already won the battle, but isn't it amazing that He invites us to take an active roll in it and see Him do it?!! God bless you in 2010!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Memories Made
We're in the midst of potty training S and he's doing pretty well. Today I asked him if he needed to go stinky and he said, "I tan't Mommy. I ser-ous!" Then when I laughed he said, "I dust teasin'." :) I am so thankful God gave him to us exactly when He did. He knew we would need lots of laughter, especially this year!
T & B have been drawing this and that, mostly cars, lately. But today T showed me a drawing of a cake he wants for his birthday. It was of a heart with a person in the middle. He told me that he wanted one like that because Jesus is in his heart now. Yeah, my heart completely melted. I don't know if that's really what he'll want by the time his birthday rolls around but it'll still be a forever memory for me.
While playing wii tonight S was just itching to play sword fighting so B played a few rounds with him and purposefully let him win. It's so sweet to see these times between them. Sometime you forget when some days are filled with fighting over who has more cars than the others.... :)
My sweet little T has been doing very well lately. God is so good and we are so undeserving. He's still on the slow side of growing and learning things, but he still IS doing it! Today while batting at a toy hanging in front of him he ended up hugging it close to him for a second. It was adorable! He loves to hear, "Yay T". Smiles every time. We love him so much and I am so thankful to celebrate his life every day. And each life for that matter. Every person is so amazingly created and precious! Thank You God for the gift of life!
Today we made a birthday cake for Jesus. And me being the control freak that I am, actually let the boys help with the prep!! Wow! We began the tradition in our little family a few years ago to have a birthday prime rib dinner and party for Jesus. It is so much fun! The boys really get into it and it helps them remember the TRUE reason for this holiday. And as they get older and more able to tell us exactly what they want for gifts :) it's a good reminder! It is wonderful to see Christmas through their eyes. The fun in getting together with family, excitement over what they'll open Christmas morning, and the simplicity of Jesus' coming. I just love it!
T & B have been drawing this and that, mostly cars, lately. But today T showed me a drawing of a cake he wants for his birthday. It was of a heart with a person in the middle. He told me that he wanted one like that because Jesus is in his heart now. Yeah, my heart completely melted. I don't know if that's really what he'll want by the time his birthday rolls around but it'll still be a forever memory for me.
While playing wii tonight S was just itching to play sword fighting so B played a few rounds with him and purposefully let him win. It's so sweet to see these times between them. Sometime you forget when some days are filled with fighting over who has more cars than the others.... :)
My sweet little T has been doing very well lately. God is so good and we are so undeserving. He's still on the slow side of growing and learning things, but he still IS doing it! Today while batting at a toy hanging in front of him he ended up hugging it close to him for a second. It was adorable! He loves to hear, "Yay T". Smiles every time. We love him so much and I am so thankful to celebrate his life every day. And each life for that matter. Every person is so amazingly created and precious! Thank You God for the gift of life!
Today we made a birthday cake for Jesus. And me being the control freak that I am, actually let the boys help with the prep!! Wow! We began the tradition in our little family a few years ago to have a birthday prime rib dinner and party for Jesus. It is so much fun! The boys really get into it and it helps them remember the TRUE reason for this holiday. And as they get older and more able to tell us exactly what they want for gifts :) it's a good reminder! It is wonderful to see Christmas through their eyes. The fun in getting together with family, excitement over what they'll open Christmas morning, and the simplicity of Jesus' coming. I just love it!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Several days ago my boys wanted to wrap up some of their absolute favorite toys to give to others for Christmas. My heart melted as they were so generous and joyful about giving. It was such a lesson for me to give my best in everything and do it joyfully. And I thought that was what I needed to learn. But the more I thought about it, the more I realize that's just the tip of the iceberg in this life lesson.
One day as I was thinking about who would open these precious gifts I had a passing thought, "I sure hope they understand just what was done and the spirit it was given in! I hope they see that a real treasure was given to them and not flippantly set it aside!" Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I wonder if that's what God thinks. He gave His absolute best, His Son sacrificed everything. How many people in this world say, "Who cares, I don't want that"? And even closer to home, how many times do I flippantly set Him aside and not take in the value of what was given to me, what I have every day and do not experience and enjoy?
As you enjoy this wonderful Christmas season, don't ignore the greatest Gift. As you think about giving to others remember what you've been given. Let the joy of knowing Jesus urge you to cheerfully give your best. Whether the one it's given to appreciates it or not, give your best as God did. And if you do not know Jesus, I don't mean as a religious symbol, but truly know Him as your Savior and closest friend, please don't let another day slip by without accepting this most precious and costly Gift. Believe in Him. Trust Him and never let go of Him!
One day as I was thinking about who would open these precious gifts I had a passing thought, "I sure hope they understand just what was done and the spirit it was given in! I hope they see that a real treasure was given to them and not flippantly set it aside!" Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I wonder if that's what God thinks. He gave His absolute best, His Son sacrificed everything. How many people in this world say, "Who cares, I don't want that"? And even closer to home, how many times do I flippantly set Him aside and not take in the value of what was given to me, what I have every day and do not experience and enjoy?
As you enjoy this wonderful Christmas season, don't ignore the greatest Gift. As you think about giving to others remember what you've been given. Let the joy of knowing Jesus urge you to cheerfully give your best. Whether the one it's given to appreciates it or not, give your best as God did. And if you do not know Jesus, I don't mean as a religious symbol, but truly know Him as your Savior and closest friend, please don't let another day slip by without accepting this most precious and costly Gift. Believe in Him. Trust Him and never let go of Him!
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